Best Man Speech - The Opening
Openings for a best man speech are always important. The moment you stand-up the audience needs to feel like they can enjoy the next few minutes without worrying about whether or not you’re going to vomit or faint. The best way to avoid this is to get an early laugh. It’ll settle the audience and boost your confidence. A quick story is good if it’s relevant to the occasion. For the first speech I was happy to learn that the groom had been best man to the best man I was writing for and made a hash of it. This allowed me to gleefully include a story that put the focus clearly on the groom and required very little delivery.
“Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Gavin, and today I have the honour of being Chris’s best man. It wasn’t so long ago that he stood where I am, getting ready to annihilate my reputation as my best man. His speech was all prepared but luckily for me when it came to delivering it, he lost his bottle. Then lost his place and with it the chance to make me look a tit in front of loved ones and newly acquired in-laws. And admirably took it upon himself to bear the burden of all of that shame and humiliation. So before I continue I just want to say a big thank you to him for that. I don’t think there’s been a groom who has enjoyed a best man speech more than I did that day. Although I have to make it clear that I won’t be returning the favour...”
The questionnaire for the second speech didn’t hold such treasure but it did tell me that all gathered were petrol-heads. Given that section of the population’s past time involved cars, I thought a gag involving a traffic warden would go down well.
“Ladies and Gentlemen: my name is Aaron and I have been given the unfortunate pleasure of being Nigel’s best man. I say unfortunate pleasure because what is to follow will be a bit like watching a traffic warden getting reversed over by a pensioner… hilarious to watch, but unfortunate for the poor pensioner, who for the rest of her life, will have to suffer the fame and adulation that comes with killing a traffic warden. And in Nigel’s case, suffer the infamy and derision that comes with making a public tit of himself.”
There are a million different ways to open a best man speech and each one should contain a laugh. For you and your audience’s sake.